round-up: 10/03
housekeeping, recommendations, quotations, etc.
This week’s newsletter is out early because I’ll be traveling this weekend. Happy Thursday.
Here’s what I have for you today:
Housekeeping
What I’m buying
What I’m listening to
What I’m reading
Quotations
& a disclaimer, again: Things are mostly terrible right now, and the violence is appalling, and there are many people out there who have addressed and do address it better than I ever could, so I’m not getting on a soapbox here—this will just be your weekly round-up featuring what I’ve been reading and thinking through, like usual.
Things to read:
Housekeeping:
I had three poems come out in September.
This is one of my favorite favorites. Editor Simmons Buntin asked me to record myself reading it, too, so—for audio-minded folks—I can read it to you below.
Also, this week, I made muesli and have been eating it with fruit and yogurt and maple syrup, or as oatmeal. Lovely. Here’s the recipe, which I made based solely on what was already in the kitchen. It’s easily adaptable based on what you have/like.
4 cups oats
3/4 cup pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1/2 cup dried mulberries
1/2 cup raisins
I dry-toasted the oats and nuts for 15 minutes on 350F before adding the dried fruit and storing. Voila.
& things I bought this week:
What I’m listening to:
What I’m reading:
The Ob*sity1 Code, Dr. Jason Fung
1 in 8 adults in the US has taken Ozempic or another GLP-1 drug, KFF survey finds
Quotations:
I’m very nostalgic and sentimental, and I think one way of keeping the doom at bay about something ending is just really treasuring how it all feels when it’s happening.
Every time I write a song, it feels like this alchemy. I don’t know what magic happens to make it come out, but it does.
I don’t think I realized how attached I was to the Midwest until I really started leaving a lot. People tend not to care about the Midwest. You bring it up and people’s eyes glaze over. It’s a non-place, I think, for a lot of people. And I think that also just imbues my relationship to this place that I’m from with a lot of protection and pride.
Taking your work seriously is important, even if it’s early. Valuing it even though people around you may not. You have to lean into what you do for someone else to lean into it.
I’m into the idea of artistic practice. How do you get inspiration? How do you ship, how do you communicate, how do you share? Developing what you see as a practice that’s sustainable. I am very much in favor of when artists can or want to have day jobs. I think it’s a great thing. Put yourself in a position to be able to continue to make work as your best bet to succeed. Creativity is this daring-ness. It’s a lot more about consistency and attentiveness than doing something wild. It’s iteration versus inspiration. It’s a little bit of both.
He hugs me tight and lifts me oh so carefully off of the cotton sheets. Our lips press against each other and I can feel his hand caress the nape of my neck, as his fingers linger on my scar that trails from the base of my skull to right where my neck should curve. My face flushes and for a moment the world washes away, it’s just us. I close my eyes and let go of my worry, I let my body surrender and as he lays back and gazes up at me, I tip my head to the side and roll my shoulders back and as I let out a sigh I yelp, “Oh Ouch.”
I immediately grab my neck and halt, my eyes closed as if any movement would cause something to go horribly wrong, but if I keep my eyes shut, it means it’s not really happening, I can still be in this delicious fantasy. My disc is slipping, or my dislocated shoulder is acting up, either way…not sexy, back to fucking reality.
We grab a supportive pillow and exchange loving words but I can’t shake the immense feelings of sadness. Here we go again. My body is doing its thing again, as I’m just along for the ride. My thoughts spiral as we lie there unable to even gently thrash around in the sheets.
I’m also suspicious of people who came to leather through a college critical theory course rather than, you know, gay sex, as they tend to arrive with a lot of bourgie hangups about a subculture that is definitionally poor, criminalized, and otherwise marginal. Despite my irritation, however, I replied with lots of recommended reading—because how could I blame this person? These days, leather seems more accessible than it really is because its signifiers have been commodified by marketing and pop culture, and its body, if not its underbelly, exposed, via social media, to people (gay and otherwise) who have no actual stake in the lifestyle.
Ignorance is no sin, especially when it comes to leather, a subculture that has been repressed and co-opted since the beginning. To revel in one’s own ignorance while disparaging that about which one knows nothing, however, is to display an arrogance antithetical to our tradition.
The nuclear family is for reproducing capitalism; the leather family is for fucking.
I came to leather because it was the only way to survive a bad situation, which means I accord it a respect that weekend-warrior trust fundies just don’t, maybe can’t.
I wanted to be like everyone else—a girl who was into boys—so I wrote copiously about being a girl who was into boys.
Research suggests that empaths might have a hyperactive mirror neuron system—the part of the brain responsible for compassion. Because of this heightened sensitivity, empaths can easily absorb the emotions of others, which is why it’s so important to learn how to care for yourself without shouldering everyone else’s burdens. The phenomenon of “emotional contagion” is real—someone’s bad mood can spread through an entire office like wildfire. On the flip side, positive emotions are contagious too, boosting cooperation and productivity. Empaths just tend to feel it all a little more intensely.
Yes, people in other places, including Israel, are also living in fear. The point is that no one should live in fear and acts of terrorism are bad no matter who commits them.
I think as writers we can be a little protective of our own ideas—there is this feeling that every plot and sentence we come up with is its own completely unique thing, like our fingerprints—but in reality, we share many themes and tropes and colloquialisms and yes, even clichés as we make our art.
My soul is made of words and cut glass. Lately, the glass keeps cutting the words.
-Victoria Chang, “Night Sea, 1963”
The strangest part of this conversation, is that semaglutide injections are medication, and we’re being marketed them (and casually discussing them) as if they’re manicures. I don’t think this much about inhalers or beta blockers or Spironolactone. But I think about Ozempic all the time because… I’m a woman who lives in New York and I can’t avoid flyers for black market injections in the subway station.
You’re not wrong, bad, or gluttonous for liking these foods, because that’s how humans work; we evolved to prioritize high-calorie, energy-dense food when it was scarce. In the past, though, available energy-dense foods were fruits or animal meat and marrow, not low-nutrient snacks. Now, this food is available everywhere. We become “addicted” to it in the sense that it makes us feel a next-level high from levels of sugar, fat, etc. that we didn’t encounter for millennia. Now, it’s easy to consume it constantly, so we do.
I first learned this practice at the Cuddle Sanctuary in Los Angeles from Jean Franzblau in the very first orientation before a cuddle social. There was an area of the room where people know to leave you alone and I spent 90 minutes of the 3 hour social crying on pillows in that area. My body was so shocked by the newness of hearing gratitude for my no, by the experience of saying “no” and how unfamiliar it was.
It is dangerous to assume that because two factors are associated, one is the cause of the other.
-Dr. Jason Fung
We choose to eat chips instead of broccoli. We choose to watch TV instead of exercise. Through this reasoning, ob*sity is transformed […] into a personal failing, a character defect.
-Dr. Jason Fung
Exercise is like brushing your teeth. It is good for you and should be done every day. Just don’t expect to lose weight.
-Dr. Jason Fung
The reason diets are so hard and often unsuccessful is that we are constantly fighting our own body. As we lose weight, our body tries to bring it back up.
-Dr. Jason Fung
A recent study suggests that 75 percent of the weight-loss response in ob*sity is predicated by insulin levels. Not willpower. Not caloric intake. Not peer support or peer pressure. Not exercise. Just insulin.
-Dr. Jason Fung
In 2023, we now know that including some healthful fats in the diet is better than going very low fat. This 2022 study shows that following a Mediterranean diet is preferable to a low fat diet after suffering a heart attack. Another landmark study published last year supports the consumption of extra-virgin olive oil for prevention of both heart and brain disorders. The researchers crunched the numbers for disease risk, but also the mortality risk: higher olive oil intake was associated with around 20% lower risk of cardiovascular, cancer, and respiratory mortality, and a whopping 29% lower risk of neurodegenerative disease mortality.
While this study didn’t compare consuming extra-virgin oil head to head with no oils in the diet at all, it does provide this gem of a fact: Replacing 10 grams/day (about 2 teaspoons) of butter, mayonnaise, and dairy fat with the equivalent of olive oil reduces the risk of dying by any cause by 8% to 34%.
If you grew up hearing that you need to drink cow’s milk to build strong bones, it can be tough to give it up. A cup of milk gives about 300 mg of calcium, which is 25% of your daily calcium requirement. (Your body needs anywhere between 1000-1200 mg of calcium every day, more if you are postmenopausal, pregnant, or lactating). Milk definitely provides calcium to the body but you will be surprised to know how many other foods provide even more calcium than a cup of cow’s milk: tofu (1 cup, cubed = 830 mg), almonds (1 cup = 385 mg), yogurt (1 cup, dairy or plant-based = 488 mg), almond milk (1 cup = 449 mg), oat milk (1 cup = 350 mg), soy milk (1 cup = 350 mg), sesame seeds (¼ cup = 350 mg), tahini (¼ cup = 256 mg), chia seeds (¼ cup = 715 mg), chickpeas (1 cup = 210 mg), edamame (1 cup = 200 mg), sardines with bones (3 small = 350 mg), and a generous serving of these vegetables: broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts, bok choy, spinach, and collard greens (1 cup cooked = 200 to 350 mg).
Following a brain-healthy diet is the most powerful lifestyle factor shown to reduce dementia risk, but several studies have shown that other healthy habits are also important. Different lifestyle factors act synergistically with diet—adding even more layers of protection for the brain. Some of these factors include exercise, not smoking, minimal or no alcohol intake, staying cognitively active, stress mitigation (like meditation and mindfulness practices), and being socially connected. A study published in JAMA in 2020 showed that following 4 of 5 brain-healthy lifestyle factors may reduce dementia risk by 60% overall and 32% in ApoE4 carriers.
It’s been known since 2017 when the SMILES trial came out that following a Mediterranean-style diet helps those living with anxiety and depression get better. Now, we have data to say that UPFs make these mental health challenges worse. In this study of over 10,000 participants, those who consumed the most UPFs were more likely to be anxious and suffer mild depression. And this one from Italy found that the more UPFs a young adult consumes, the more likely they are to experience depression. That may be because a junk food diet is deficient in essential brain health nutrients like DHA and EPA, B-complex vitamins, and fiber, while fueling neuroinflammation with sugar and unheatlhy fats.
For years, researchers have noted that inflammation caused by periodontitis (gum disease) is linked to heart disease, diabetes, and premature labor. And, that people with poor dental hygiene are more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease later in life. Now a study published this week in Neurology links gum disease with brain shrinkage in the hippocampus, the memory center of the brain. This may be because gum inflammation breeds certain bacteria that trigger neuroinflammation in the brain. One of these bacteria, P. gingivalis, secretes a substance (gingipains) that cleaves tau (one of the sticky proteins found in Alzheimer’s victims brains), making it more likely to become phosphorylated and incite damage.
Mania doesn’t change a person as much as we pretend it does. It merely arms the individual with the belief that they can actually achieve everything they set their mind to, and worse, that they should.
I had starved myself, casually and intermittently, throughout my childhood, but a few weeks before starting work at the mental hospital—with high school waxing, my prepubescent metabolism waning, and my body rapidly growing—I made the decision to cultivate my hunger into a proper disorder. I stood, naked in June, before my parents’ full-length mirror and ran a diagnostic assessment. I wanted to be popular my freshman year, which meant that I had to be beautiful which meant I had to be, in some way, exceptional. I had brown hair that my mother called chestnut, adored, and forbade me from dyeing the buttery blonde of Wiley Wadsworth, who sat at the back of the school bus, each day, on a different eighth-grade boy’s lap. According to a Seventeen magazine quiz, my body type was “carrot.” Though I spent evenings feverishly humping the air under the tutelage of Kardashian-assed blogilates instructors, dousing my chest in stimulating tea tree oil, and feasting on Luna Bars (rumored to contain enough soy-based estrogen to turn me into a tweenaged Jessica Rabbit), I was making no marked progress towards “peanut.” Surgery was not an option as my body was not yet legally mine. Thinness was the only path to physical extremity within my jurisdiction. I wanted to make myself small enough that strangers would look at the space between my thighs with fear and desire. I wanted to make myself small enough to be seen.
She confided in strangers. She confided secrets that were not her own. She was borderless. She owned the house. Then, the house owned her. My mother’s room became a tomb, door closed, shades drawn.
To me, danger was power and power was control and I was starving for it.
I began to see the outline of lessons that I came to learn later, through age and repetition: that deprivation could be its own type of extraordinary. That self-destruction could turn a girl into a spectacle. That some men will always want a spectacle more than a woman.
I am a writer. I write about my life. And my life has been filled with trauma. It would be impossible to not write about these wounds. It would be a lie.
It’s unsurprising that Pilates is rising in popularity for another reason besides thinness. Consider how adherents are deemed “princesses” and “girlies,” while women who lift weights are “mommies” — Pilates culture suggests that its participants are not only “long and lean” (read: thin) but also ultra-feminine and, most crucially, youthful. Our culture’s obsession with youth and womanhood-turned-girlhood has played out at max volume over the last couple of years. Observe it in the skin care industry as a whole; in the coquette trend and in Sabrina Carpenter’s “sexy baby” mien; in everything from “girl dinner” to “girl math”; in The Eras Tour and in the market for cartoonish charms for your Stanley.
Pilates culture in its current form can be extraordinarily elitist and exclusionary. It uplifts a certain look as a standard, suggests your body isn’t right if you don’t attain it (Pilates done right results in a “copy-paste” body, remember), and charges a premium to gain entrée. That makes a lot of women feel lacking and in turn earns businesses and industries a lot of money. Same as it ever was.
What’s occurring isn’t the sudden resurgence of thinness following a body-positive idyll, but a return to the unabashed, public coveting of emaciation.
& I also liked this list from Luce:
adulthood is:
having the ‘we’ve got food at home’ chat with yourself
siblings becoming friends that you don’t see that often
buying a couch
your parents in the passenger seat of your car
your time no longer being solely yours
bringing your own dish to a family gathering
the first person you love getting sick
eating alone at a restaurant and not being embarrassed about it
paying a parking ticket
limiting your coffee intake
the first time you feel nostalgic
looking after yourself when you’re sick
work ruining your plans with the girls
‘treating yourself’ to a trip to the garden centre
being able to buy whatever you want at the supermarket but only buying the essentials
dealing with bugs yourself
calling the doctors
being kicked off the family phone plan
waking up, the dishes aren’t done, and you actually care
not at all what you thought it would be, but you love it all the same 𓆩♡𓆪
That’s all for today!
-Despy Boutris
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Censored because I recognize that this is a pathologizing word that doctors (like Dr. Fung) and the medical system use.
Congrats on your publications! I just read Terrain for my lit mag reading club and it’s a great magazine. I liked the hermit crab usage on the last poem. But you had me with the Al Green thumbnail. I’ve been listening to his Get Back cover.